This puddle jumper is the bomb.

No more holding on to him.

So I'm re-reading Ina Mays guide to child birth again

I do not want to give birth in a cold sterile hospital.

Yeap, same issue as with Isaac. Have always felt that I wanted to give birth at home.

Of course batdude denied me this privileged and therefore I denied him the privileged of him being there for the birth of his first son.

Subconsciously, maybe I knew he already "abandoned" me with what I wanted for the birth so to the universe I said "let's do this shit alone!"

With the impending birth in the next 10-11 weeks, I'm starting to get this "I wan to give birth my way" again.

Now I don't even have a proper obstetrician with me. I feel abandoned again with no proper continuous care.

I just told him "I'm not going to the hospital to give birth"

Haha should have seen the look on batdudes face.

Ok I've mentally compromised and thought, ok I will go once I'm fully dilated. And when contractions are shorter than 3 minutes apart.

But I do not want the obstetrician to dictate the birth

I do not want her to burst my water bag "cos it's taking to long".

I don't want to have pitocin to "speed things up"

All because she wants the process to be sped up. Like I'm taking too much of her time and she has no patience with her patients at all.

Sooooooo, can I not go to the hospital? Can I just like "opps, took a bath, accidentally delivered in the shower?"

Hahaha would be so happy if that happens.

I want to be an empowered patient.

I want to make the choice. I'm not fool-hardy to just refuse intervention just because I want a intervention free birth.

I am confident in what I can handle and cannot. I just don't want anybody to tell me that I can't handle it and I need to do this or that now.

I'm not paying someone to tell me what to do. I need some one to do the right thing if things are not right. That's all.

If everything is going right

I don't understand why you have to intervene or suggest a c-sect or episiotomy or what not just because it's "taking to long"

Just for your convenience, you destroy a women's perfect body and her self confidence as well.

Decisions, decisions.

As for now, I need to finish up all my pending work before I pop!!!

#29 weeks and still as busy as hell!!

Go go go!!!!!

And I thought I've already reduced my work load.

Oh well!!!

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